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"Navigator", "follower" and gifts

Mon, 18 Sep 2000 (Updated 22 October 2000)
Mr Fondman  7 October 2000

This is an edited version of something I contributed to the 1HouseholdDiscipline discussion list.

The list's homepage is here: 1hd/ .

© 1999 to 2000. Let me know if you would like to quote from this or if you can suggest any improvements.

(In 2005 I am more inclined to think of myself as dominant.)

I like the terms "navigator" and "follower" much better than "dominant"
and "submissive".  I don't seek a submissive woman and I don't think of
myself as a dominant (though I chuckle when someone writes "Dear Sir," .
. . ) - just that I have a responsibility to correct misbehaviour in
certain situations.  

I recognise that many women do enjoy giving their submission (at least
in the long term - at times of misbehaviour, they are not submitting at
all).  There is talk of the "gift of submission".  Without trying to
deny there is such a gift, I hope it is more than simply the "gift" of
not being troublesome.

I don't think "the woman submits to the man".  I prefer "the woman
places herself in the care of the man" - in some aspects of her life at
least.

I think the "gift" of accepting a person's request you be their
navigator is greater than their "gift" of them asking for and accepting
that direction.  Does your doctor feel like you are a giving a gift when
you burden him or her with your problems - aside from the gifts of
trust, respect and the money you pay?  What about the "gift" of
"submiting" to the dentist?  You are asking them to do something really
tricky to you - which you cannot do yourself.

I think of the "navigator" in a DD relationship providing direction and
correction in certain fields of life where that person is generally
stable, strong and wise, and where the "follower" at times lacks these
qualities.  The same two people could well have a navigator -> follower
relationship in another aspect of their lives.  To many men, I think,
the direction, support, confidence and inspiration of their beloved
woman is absolutely essential to living a full life, including them
being motivated to be their best selves.

- Mr Fondman

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